I just love hanging out in limbo especially since I am not supposed to drive. I have had to rely on wonderful friends, Sara, for getting Wy to school and TKD. I did drive once to get Wy to a b-day party and boom instant head pain. I think it is a disconnect between brain and visual reception. We went out for dinner. I could hear the fajitas sizzling from across the restaurant. Then there was the grating noise of sweeping of a broken glass at the bar. It was crazy. I was wiped after that and had the worst case of insomnia that night.
It has been a hard week. The medication makes me feel really tired and out of it in the morning, but was still waking at night. Following directions, upped meds last night and I did sleep with only fleeting periods of waking but still felt like a truck hit me in the morning.
I have also struggled with feeling down and completely non-motivated. I think not having the freedom of just getting in the car and going really affected me. I know that I could take the bus…yup I could…but haven’t talked myself into doing it yet. It would take two buses to get the boys to school. Mmmm…still need to work myself up for that one! D & I did go out for walks, even on the cold winter afternoons, but we mostly just hung out and did nothing. I think I played army and baked cookies.
I haven’t been on the computer very much. Today has been the most and I can feel it already. Need to get family christmas pics edited, christmas newsletter and some long overdue blog posts done.
I am told that a bed will open up this week. I really hope a bed opens up quickly so I get everything started. I will then have a better idea of what I can do or not do at the moment, the reasons for getting tired and maybe some idea what all my newfound quirks are. I need to have all the assessments to figure out if I can go back to my old job or re-structure a new career path. Having little strategies is what pisses me off the most. Yes I know I can hang out and be a hermit but really is that productive. Some days I feel yes that is and others not so much. Here’s hoping getting in this week so I don’t have to be in the hospital for Christamas.