Howdy Hydrocephalus

Understanding my unique gyroscope

One of “Those” People


Okay so what is a family meeting.  It is where Chris is on speaker phone and I am sitting in a room with eight other people.  There are two doctors, a social worker, four therapists, and a coordinator who are all there to talk about me.   I am sitting there listening to each therapist talk about what we are working on, what has been tested and what needs to be worked on.

First, it is physio – my “best” subject.  We are working on my coordination, balance and walk which apprently I have adapted with since last march. I have been working on going up and down stairs with my head up and not holding onto the rails. I have also been using a ball to roll back and forth with my disconnected leg.  The tingling and burning sensations are something to do with the nerves and connection between the brain and the leg.

Second it was OT – my “worst” subject. We have been testing and so far have found out that I have some right side inattention  with some potential visual field loss (yet to be determined). I am highly distractable and have cruddy audio attention but the upside is my visual attention is decent! I like pictures!

Third was Speech – Yup that stutter that I picked up in the summer is here to stay.  Damn pressure on the brain – just hit the part.  I must say it definately comes out when stressed or anxious. We will also be working on organizing thoughts to tell a coherant story when talking.

The doctors are trying to get my meds right – zombie to keyed up does make a body tired.  The plan is if I work hard I will see results upwards to two years.  I will be having a neuropsychological testing done on Monday and from there they will be able to know more specific things.

I am listening to all this and the muscles on my face start to shake and then my hold body shakes. What the hell is going on, I got so stressed. Man my body reacts completely differently now and I have no control of how to stop the shaking. I even shed a few tears. I was releived when it was over so I could process all that information while I walked around before physio.

So it is what it is – Yes I have a brain injury and it is more than what I originally thought (denial or front lobe damage who knows).  I am officially accepting that I am “One of those People”!  No worries though, the upside is that instead of having a mid-life crisis that many people go through at 40; I get to say good bye to the old me and embrace the new me and get to re-invent myself. I am looking forward to figuring out what those adventures are going to be.

Although I miss Chris and the boys quite a lot, I am feeling at home on the unit and know that I am getting the best care here.  Now that I know a baseline, I can work super hard to fill in all the gaps and use the therapies to help get me there. The good thing is, is that the stubborn red headed still exists and I will not give up.



4 thoughts on “One of “Those” People

  1. Here’s hoping that it gets easier for you, Kelly. I’m sure your positive attitude and your determination goes a long way to help. Sending positive vibes your way…

  2. Thinking of you. Relating on many things, (the stutter for example) feeling so sad for you on others, feeling hope for you though, and admiring your strength. Thanks for sharing.

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