Howdy Hydrocephalus

Understanding my unique gyroscope

Bonkers

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cabcf6441afb26a3f5d0a6740509ec75I function at home in a quiet place with my control of lights and stimulation. I know that, thus I am a bit of a recluse. I am happy to usually be by myself. It is not like I never see or have contact with other humans. I have my sons that range from 25-7 and my hubby. I have phone calls that I will answer if they leave me messages. I also go to art therapy once a week and I pick my kids up from school. I see lots of people. Plus at least once a week my kids have a friend over.

But I can think better when there is not so much other stuff happening. So my world of functioning better is limited to a small realm of safety for me. This little zone would feel constrictive and choking to those that are extroverts. This would be your hell.  My animals would drive you crazy. While I enjoy talking to them…often they are more responsive to me than my own family,

Yes I admit that I am an odd duck. It is an effort to have a conversation. I am really not too sure what to say. I feel more awkward than when I was a kid. What the hell do people talk about anyway?! Politics…world news…local news…shopping…it all is really a huge effort. I am better at listening (ha ha ha), My personality Orange-Green or Green-Orange by the basis of true colours…which in layman’s terms is that I am an advernturous analytical person who is distance. Oh yeah I can agree with that. I can help and listen to other people’s concerns, but really have no need to share mine at least verbally. In writing and blogging…well that is another story. My fingers can automatically type and the writing and expresssion can free flow. Verbally…well not so much.

April 2015 049Nope I don’t drive myself bonkers. I am a putterer and keep myself busy with with projects that may take ten times more than normal due to my interesting way of trying to figure out steps. In  reality that means I jump in and start…stop..figure out how to fix or start over. This may happen a number of times. Damn you Pinterest!! The photos look so easy. I am sure they are but I have to figure out my own steps….Damn you Recipie pages…If only I could follow the ingredient list or the steps. That last cheese cake bar I tried to make, the dogs wouldn’t even eat.

Well I shouldn’t complain. It is Rememberance Day. I think of all those men and women who have served in horrendous conditions to help the world and Canada. Their struggles were far more difficult and life threatening than mine. I am grateful for them and the path that these men and women have laid out for us to follow in their footsteps. So let us not forget other people or country struggles. everyone has their own battles that they have fought. I thank all those that have fought for Canada. I thank all those that have been fighting their own battles that I use as inspiration for my continued efforts to get better. I thank all my friends & family & community for their support so me and my family have a safe place to grow up in. And by meaning grow up…I  mean not only a for my kids, but for my daily life long learning to better myself as well.

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