Howdy Hydrocephalus

Understanding my unique gyroscope


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Growth

At the end of 2011 and through 2012 until I was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus was heartbreaking, confusing, as I lost my facilties with reversible dementia, my body strength with my right side going numb, fluid coming out my ears at night and nose during TKD and running. The initial lack of support from people due to the fact that everyone thought it was just a mid life crisis or was faking with my right arm not working properly and right leg dragging; fatigue; memory isues and neurgentic stutter.

After diagnosis there was relief that I was not losing my mind. I look back now and there was a cognitive break in awareness and understanding the severity of my brain and body. I had no fear of surgery and was hell bent on getting out of neuro icu and home that I was the wandering patient. Determined to pass all test to go home.

Then there was optimism of recovery at the Brain Injury Clinic. Being told not to drive….pshhh…whatever. I drove until my Brain Dr. called to let me know there was space for inpatient in Foothills. She gave me crap for driving. I thought she was crazy…I could drive no problem. I only had energy to go up and down the hill to drop my kids off at school anyway…my new visual world was almost like a surrealist painting, swirling, motion and blurs in a constant movement on hyper drive volume.

Inpatient was amazing. I recieve physical, recreational, cognitive, speech and life skill re-training.  Had to re-wire the zombie. I was alive but my ability to communicate was limited. There I found out that I had minimal Affect…thus no driving…if my Dr. had only explained that.

During the first three years, My hubby and I were in denial that there would be a full recovery. It through both of us for a loop as we slowly realized that no not a full recovery to the old me but a continual recovery for the new me. Let me tell you…yes there is a fulll on grieving process for this. You question your being…burden…useful/useless…where do you go when your entire being has been smushed in that damn brain. Well you can roll over and say fuck it – off yourself…drink…smoke meth or other drugs…run away and become invisible or try to pull up your big girl pants while saying suck it up sunshine and move on.

The moving on process is the most frigging frustrating. It is not like you will just get healthy, come to a finish line and say Hey I am done with a pat on the back and participation ribbon. Hell no. This is uncharted territory and you better be in it for the long haul. There are many hill climbs…some are easy….some you are stuck on a ledge for a long time…there are rockslides and tumbles down to the bottom…only to start over again. Then there is success you reach the peak, plant your flag only to look forward to see endless more mountain peaks. So you decided do I go back down and start the new climb or stay put and be happy/angry/miserable/positive/content/pissed…the choice yours to make.

I have learned to keep going even when hanging on by a thread, dead dog tired and feeling alone. Sometimes is for me, somtimes it is my pure red-headed viking stubborness, sometimes it is my family, sometimes it is for friends, but I stumble forward, backward, upside down, or sideways but I move and often it clicks together. The recovery process is not a straight line….it is a wacked out angry scribble drawing that doesn’t make sense at the time but when you pull it out later you see what makes sense in it.

I have found a new me. I am not completely new, there is some old me still mixed in with my wacky and wild new me. Most days I embrace and accept my quirks…hell there is no on this earth like me. I have found new meaning, direction, tribe and currently working on building my community.

I have been giving an opportunity run a volunteer peer art expressions group. We had our first meeting last Wednesday. I am enjoying the creative sharing and strategy sharing for all your challenges we have been faced with. I think with our digital age, we tend to minimize sharing and connecting and supporting a people who are needing help. Often people put the blinders on and ignore the fact that we are broken crayons but we all can still colour. This happens so much for work. Company’s mostly hire full time. I will never be able to do that. I think my energy levels and my time requirements to keep my body working will allow me only minimum part time at the most.  I am super excited to share my experiences and hope to bring  support to others who are at different stages of their chaotic life changing journey. So my Community growth so far for this year is being involved with this. I am so grateful For Medicine Hat Alberta Health Recreation Services for coming up with the idea and allowing me to participate.

I have gained strength mentally and spiritually. My physical side of me was still lacking. Since December 2017, I made it a priority to get my physical me into alignment. It has been a challenge for me not to push too hard. I still had days where I thought I could be like who I used to be and had to recover, but not as many as previous attempts. So my big growth and accomplishment physically so far in 2018 is me running the 3km Rattler Run. It was the 2012 3k where I came 3rd when my entire right-crapped out and went lazy, funky and irradict because of the pressure in my brain. Not a stroke, but pressure related damage That I have worked hard to minimze. If I don’t do my rehab exercises my brain will get lazy and then my arm and leg gets lazy again. Now it really only comes out when overwhelmed or overtired.

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The Rattler Run theme this is year is so appropriate. I am running for me! Whether you are on a health journey too or just an average joe happy, sad, going through other chaotic life events….I challenge you all to challenge yourselves. Let me know what you are doing.

Cheers,

Kelly

 

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Building Endurance

This year is all about my spoons. I am taking great thought and consideration in my daily activities and routines…okay for the most part. I have only a couple over did it days in the last two months rather than one or two a week. I am feeling positive that if I keep this strategy up, I will see more improvement.

So how am I doing this? A variety of ways.

  1. I bought four Echo Dots for the house. When I first saw the ads on TV, I wasn’t too sure it would be right for me. I spent a couple weeks surfing the net and finding lots of great information such as this article sharing some of the benefits that assistive AI technilogy can help people with various abilities. I was not getting any help with the local brain injury clinic so I took the plunge and bought four. Each boy has one in their rooms; there is one on the mainfloor in kitchen and one that travels with me in the car, at my studio and in the master bedroom. The Echo Dot helps me keep organized. 20180208_110948_HDRIt will tell me my missed notifications and what I have upcoming. I can set various alarms such as to wake up, eat, medicine, drink, pick up kids, remind kids have shower etc…. I can drop into the boys rooms and tell them it is dinner or they need a shower. I can make lists by telling Alexa “to add…to my list”. There is so much that it has helped me with but I will need an entire blog post to tell you about my discoveries.
  2. We got a family membership at the local YMCA where I have been working with a friend who is a personal trainer. She has introduced me to TRX suspension workouts. These workouts are great because I do not have to worry about falling. I use my own body weight and do a short body workout…ten minutes so I don’t overdo it and spend two days in bed. With her help I have begun jogging again. We walk one lap and jog two laps for 15 minutes. I was scared to get running shoes because they always had these overhangs with the sole acting like a heel so I would lose my balance easily. However, after much searching I found the perfect running shoe and love it. It is light and doesn’t have the heel thing so I feel secure. It is a Nike running Shoe that even fits my narrow feet awesome. I was so happy to find a pair. When my friend is not with me, we found out that an eliptical machine is the best machine for me. I can monitor my heart rate and hang on so it makes falling off less of a chance. I am supposed keep my heart rate at 145 bpm so I don’t hurt my head. I use a FitBit to help with running and the rest of my daily routine. I don’t have to scroll through all the screens to get to continous heart beat like my previous fitness band. I almost fell of the eliptical about ten times because I kept trying to monitor my heart rate. Now all I need to do is either flick my wrist for screen to light up and there it is! Easy peasy:)
  3. The third major routine changer is bring back my wall calendar and paper calendar. I now function with my digital calendar, wall calendar and paper calendars. I use a Daytimer 30 day wall calendar.  This calendar sits right beside my laptop computer20180208_110921_HDR

The other side of this calendar has a 60 days. I used that only before and hated it because I can not write small enough. Now I use the 30 days side can almost fit most things in. Above is my calendar and it is not filled out all the way. I use different colours of  ultra fine dry erase markers for each family member. It has been working awesome. 20180208_112629_HDR.jpgI also use two two Blueline miracle bind books. One is a weekly calendar. that gives me room to jot down everything and goes to 8:30pm and we have a lot of hockey or volleyball at those times. The second is the teal book that is undated note organizer with pages that can move in and out of book or into different sections based on my notes. I use my Google keep for mostly links and other stuff that I find interesting, but I can not put anything else on it as I will forget to look. The teal book comes with me everywhere but my planner stays by my computer so I won’t lose it.

4. I forgot because I now carry so much stuff to keep myself organized…I needed a bag to fit it all in. I am not a purse person, but when I do I use a crossbody bag. Even then if I put it down, I may forget about it and walk off with the bag lying on a restaurant or hockey rink seat. I began my search…there were bags that were too small,  too fashionista for me, or way too large. After about two weeks I took a chance on a leather backpack that could fit my ipad, apple pen, keyboard, wallet, phone, sketching pad & pens, phone charger, water or coffee container or both and a snack or two. Often it carries hockey balls and hockey tape as well! This leather backpack did not break the bank and looks nice enough I could wear it out to a restaurant. It is big enough that I have not forgotten it anywhere…yet!

Of course I am working on a bunch of other stuff too but this post has taken up a lot of my time today and I still have to put five listings on my Etsy store. It is called Crowsnest Cre8tions and I make downloadable posters and graphics. isla_280x280.29169110_36m4np9q I haven’t made much money yet…but slowly I will get there too! If interested in earning free listings and opening up your own online store. Check out Etsy here.

Disclaimer: The blog is a documentation of my life living with Hydrocephalus and Brain Injury.  It is not professional advice but tools and techniques that have worked for me via trial and error under the guidance of my medical team. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another. Consult your medical team. The links above contain affiliate links. This means that at no additional cost to you; I will earn a commission if you click-through and make a purchase.


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Oh Sleep how I missed You!

For over the  last five years I have suffered from inadequate sleep from my crazy re-wired brain. Sleep is one of the most important activities to allow your brain to heal itselt. That is why patients are given sleeping pills in early part of the healing process.

After that you given suggestions to help with proper sleep hygiene.

This often include:

  1. Limit naps to 20-30 minutes. This makes sense on paper…however when you are fatigued and sleep-deprived you nap. When you dealing with a life long chronic condition and need to use the spoon theory to survive and educate people you nap. I really don’t think the regular doctors understand. Limiting naps may work for the “normal” person who is going through a small patch of insomnia but for us Spooners naps are the bridge to help us make it through the day.
  2. Limit caffeine consumption. I love coffee and I still have my coffee everyday. Coffee has often held off migraines for a short period of time for me so there are benefits to still drink it. The only thing where I limit my coffee consumption  But I do not have coffee past noon. I do not like decaffeinated coffee and often caffeine free tea gets a bad rap. However, I found a few teas that I just love. These teas taste hot or cold and you do not need to sweeten with sugar. My current favourites are Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice , Celestial Seasonings Ginger & Turmeric Tea and Tetley Blueberry Ginsing tea. I tend to like the spices that make me feel warm and cozy.
  3. Exercise daily. This is a very hard one to do when given a new life with a chronic condition. Prior to surgery I was very active – runner, Tai-kwon-do and I worked outside so I was fit and had lots of muscle. After surgery I wanted to exercise to my previous level. It basically took me up until recently to understand it is not the amount or intensity that matters. I can exercise for as little as ten minutes. I love how I feel! I use a wooden balance board to help with my right side and core. I also use the yoga half ball with handles. I started with resistance bands without handles but now prefer resistance bands with handles. I also walk not run!
  4. Get enough sunlight and darkness. This supposedly gets the sleep-wake cycle back to normal again. I live in Canada and the weather can get horrible in the winter so I use a Light Therapy panel. This is blue light which gives me headaches but I wear tinted prescription glasses all the time to alleviate. I also take higher than average doses of Vitamin D as prescribed by my Doctor. If it summer one fun way to baseline your sleep-wake cycle is to go tenting for three days with no electronics.
  5. Don’t Eat or Drink too much before bed. Avoid the foods that cause you upset stomachs or build acid. Too much fluid may cause you to get up numerous times a night disrupting a good night’s sleep. This is a very personal thing and experimentation is needed.
  6. Relax before Bed. This means different things to different people. Some people chill in front of the TV while others read. Some do Yoga or Meditate. I often read and listen to diurnal Beats or Meditative Music from Amazon Music. We have been Amazon Prime members for years and love it. Try Prime Membership  Amazon Music, Video and Photo are some of the benefits. not to mention the awesome shipping times. This saves so much time and energy.
  7. Create a Good Sleep Environment. When I first heard of this, I was thinking WTF. Well we don’t have a TV in our room. My hubby watches his shows with headphones via his tablet. I spent almost two years trying to find a pair of wireless headphones that would work for me. I found a great pair of reasonably priced wireless noise cancelling over the ear headphones that fold with comfy foam and fit my head in all the right places. I don’t watch TV on my tablet, but I do read online books and listen to diurnal beats to relax and fall asleep. The biggest thing that I love is my how my Apple Ipad has a night mode so I am able to read without all the blue light. I also love how I can turn down the brightness and also change my books writing to grey. No one can see my screen at night except me it is so low and with a muted amber glow. I am so sensitive to light that having all these features allows me to comfortably read and relax. Setting the room temperature for proper sleep is very culture and personal dominant. However the bestest Christmas Gift ever was from my hubby. I had read about the benefits of weighted blankets. He bought me a single sized 15lb blanket from YnM and I have been sleeping throughout the night. It was a Christmas Miracle.

I have been sleeping like a baby since December 25. Except when I didn’t bring my new favourite blanket to Coleman for five days. Next time I will haul it with me. I have been extremely grateful and appreciative to have sleep back in my life.

It has made me think clearer and be more productive…okay I am still a squirrelly mess but I feel like I am being more productive as I try to stay focussed.

So I am very grateful to a wonderful start to 2018. I can see so many positive changes happening especially with having a solid night’s sleep!

Disclaimer: The blog is a documentation of my life living with Hydrocephalus and Brain Injury.  It is not professional advice but tools and techniques that have worked for me via trial and error under the guidance of my medical team. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for another. Consult your medical team. The links above contain affiliate links. This means that at no additional cost to you; I will earn a commission if you click-through and make a purchase.


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LA Kings support Hydrocephalus Awareness

download (4)I remember seeing an article about how the LA Kings support Hydrocephalus Awareness and Research. Finally I remembered about the article and looked it up.

LA Kings Support Hydrocephalus

It is great to see that some high profile teams are actually supporting this cause. To date three NHL teams have supported the Hydrocephalus Awareness; LA Kings, Anheim Ducks and Washington Capitals. It would be great to see more professional sporting teams support Brain Injury Awareness and Hydrocephalus Awareness. This would be great because any sport head injury can cause a brain injury and if it was severe enough hydrocephalus can also be added to the mix.

To say that Hydrocephalus and Severe Acquired Brain Injury has changed my life dramatically is an understatement. I am fortunate, I do not have a shunt, but I do have an ETV Free Flowing CSF hole that could close and malfunction sending me for another brain surgery. Also my vision has been affected from the Interncranial pressure. I still have issues with my one eye and if there is an increase intercrananial pressure, it can negatively impact my vision considerably.

I am not angry or upset with this new life time journey, but continue to fight daily for small improvements in my life. I always hope that there will be a new medical soloution or strategy that can help make my time here a little better. Whether that be reducing pain, increasing executive functions, visual improvements, increasing energy and controlling my wacky right side which has been getting weird again. For example, I was painting on a picnic table this weekend and my family was sitting around the campsite when all of a sudden my paintbrush flew out of my right hand…and the weird thing is that I am left handed but thought I should try to do some broad painting strokes with my right hand. Then this morning I go to sit down on couch to write this post with open laptop in left hand and contigo coffee mug in right hand. As I sit down, my right hand squeezes the drink button and hot hot coffee continually flies in air as I do not realize my hand is hitting the button all over couch, laptop and my burning my leg.

images (9)All I can say is that Brain Injury and Hydrocephalus is quite the adventure and that more education, awareness and support are needed!


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Chronic Pain & TBI

Chronic Pain is a beast. It is not pain from over doing it at the gym, lifting heavy objects or mountain biking, it is pain that does not respond to over the counter medicines and it is often brushed aside by stating that the pain is “psychological”. And when the pain doesn’t go away or get treated, your life can begin to unravel quite quickly. Sleep, cognitive, concentration, appetite, daily activities are negatively affected when chronic pain is not treated or under control. This then leads to anxiety and depression that only add the nasty mix and do not help in day to day living. Because your energy is now taken up by doing everything in your power to accept and move through the pain. You breathe, continue with limited activities, say affirmations, think positive, try herbal supplements and anything and everything that people suggest to try to find some relief. Until it all becomes too much and then you sink into that pit of despair because all the tools in your tool box no longer work. You question worth, value and place here on earth. You can not handle the feel of clothes on your skin, or even someone touching your. Your body is so inflamed that you are old beyond your years. You do not go out because any activity is no longer easy or fun. Joy and happiness are suck from your soul as you are bone weary with every move. You calculate how many years left and if you have the mental and physical strength to actually continue to be here in this pain every day until die. You start to think of ways out…anything to just get rid of this damn pain.  This cycle will repeat itself until….

You finally find a Doctor who understands that chronic pain is real and begins to treat the pain. There is not a text book type way to treat chronic pain. It is more like experimenting with different treatment options until a positive response is obtained. This approach takes time, patience and sometimes putting up with a lot of side effects from different medicines. 

My chronic pain is two-fold; the 24 hour a day migraine with the added bonus of cluster-like headaches that feel like ice picks through the eye. This pain is never gone but for the most part it is managed. The second part to my chronic pain is my neuropathic pain due to nerve injury or nerve mis-communication and response to pain. This has always been on the right side of my body. It feels like burning fire ants, burning and shooting pain that is continually there. Between my knee and ankle fluctuates from burning to feeling like wood. I have had this for five years and it will always be a part of my life.

However, last November, I went off my Pristiq because I told the Doctor that I was doing well and that I was not depressed so I didn’t need it. So I went off the meds.  Then comes January to March where I begin to lose it all. My Neurogenic pain is not just on my right side, it was on my left side too. My chest felt like it was on fire with the flames flickering upwards to my neck and nose. I was worried. My skin was horrible. The itchyness I had on my arm, chest, legs and back was so bad that I was looking like a meth head with open cuts.

Turns out that my Pristiq was not for depression but for my neurogenic pain. An off label use for it…oh didn’t know that. Thus my brain doctor will continue to see me because she just rocks at figuring out what the hell is wrong with me when no one else gives a shit. Also she prescribed this awesome cream that does not contain steroids but instead lanocain and gabapentin to help topically for my pain. Also endless itching is also from neurogenic pain. The nerves are just all messed up and sending weird signals.

So now my pain is not through the roof. It is not 100% managed yet…still annoying as hell. I really do not like the way my chest feels but I really have no choice but to accept it. I hope we can still find a better management solution. I am looking forward to my June appointment to see what my next trials will be.


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March is Brain Injury Awareness in The United States

It has been a very active Brain Injury Awareness month. I have read so many wonderful tweets from fellow survivors and bloggers. I was even asked by Lyrysa Smith about Hydrocephalus. She is a journalist, book author and caregiver to her sister’s ABI after carbon monoxide poisoning.  She read my blog and then messaged me some questions. What an amazing person.

It is always meet such positive advocates. People with TBI and ABI need positive advocates. We also need to have more up to date resources in smaller centres.

I hate how I have to explain what my condition is, what an ETV is and now have to explain that my hydrocephalus gets worse when something is affecting my body to ER doctors. I will voice stronger rather than be put off like I am over reacting. I have a reason to be concerned. When my Hydrocephalus symptoms increase…head pain, pressure, more right side fire ants/tingling; I begin to walk funny again. My right side grasping and coordination start to fail…I can accidentally drop or throw items in my right hand. I also have a hard time understanding people especially when on the phone. My cognitive gets worse too. My short term memory is really bad normally and it takes and extreme amount of effort and time to move items from short term to working memory to long term memory even gets worse. My perception begins to change and the world can begin to get all swirly again and off balance again. 

These symptoms are the only symptoms I have to go on if there is issues with my Hydrocephalus. I do not know when I go into the ER if my ETV hole is partially plugged and flow is disrupted or anything other. I am told to go the the ER by all my Doctors in Calgary when I experience these symptoms. But When go to the ER here in Medicine Hat. I am shoved off into the cubicle B of less serious cold, flu & malingerer section and made to wait. (I don’t mind waiting as I know people come in with serious conditions but my can go sideways quickly and being blown off all the time is not cool). By the way the same one where I sat with Stephens Johnson’s Syndrome all blistered, bloodied mouth and peeling skin) as triage didn’t think I was serious when in fact I was being poisoned by my Meds and burning from the inside out. (PPL make mistakes and that nurse made a huge one. I still have rash and skin issues to date). 

I dislike that when you have a life-long condition and that you are made to feel you are wasting the medical system, hospital system, tax payers money when I go into the ER. No my condition never gave me a huge fever and my blood pressure would always read 120/80 (which is high for me but they always ignore that with a polite tight lipped sneer of someone who fully believes they are more qualified to know my body better than me) even before my brain surgery and definitely not after. Only once was my blood pressure at 170 or higher and they stick couldn’t figure out what was going on…infection…partial blockage. No on really knows…most likely me panicking because I couldn’t stand. 

 It is not like I go in on a whim. By the time I voice my conditions to my hubby I have thought long and hard if they are serious, is it just me over reacting etc….By the time I mention to my hubby, he will usually say it is better to waste your time in the ER and find out rather than sit and wait and maybe have things get worse quickly. He always asks if we should drive to Calgary and get the on-call neurologist. I always say no, that it is too much of a drive.  I dislike that knowledge level is not that good here. I dislike that I am going to explain more and more at the hospital. And then for them to say…it is not the hydrocephalus…it is my sinuses, anxiety, in my head, i am faking. Why put me on the defensive. Do you realize how much that hurts to me mentally especially when I am so much in pain and on the last rungs of hope. But when in fact they symptoms are my Hydrocephalus increasing because my body is fighting something. My neurosurgeon explained that Hydrocephalus symptoms will increase when there is something going on in my body. That my hydrocephalus baseline should return once what ever is going wrong in my body has been addressed.

So far I am three months of feeling off and I am not any better. The regular doctor gave me nose spray, I am taking allergy pills and I am now debating to go back to my Dr. Office and be a stronger advocate. The last time, the Dr. I saw thought I was a little aggressive. Hell yes! I am sick of not being heard. Sick of no solutions. Sick that they experts keep pawning me off saying not me…and saying I need to see someone else but no indication that a referral has been made. I am sick of the same cycle of treatment I had before my surgery five years ago. It is like they want you to fall through the cracks.

Why don’t  the Doctors and nurses just say…well your hydrocephalus symptoms are worse and that is an indicator that something is wrong in your body. Let’s figure it out so you can feel better. But no none of that. Oh hell no…no patient care…more like lets see if we can get her to go away. Truly our system is broken when you have to be a broken wheel, act like you are in severe traumatic pain (I don’t I get quieter and quieter as I focus on mindful meditative breathing and imagery) to be seen quicker and to be taken more seriously.

Thank goodness I have an appointment with the brain injury clinic in Calgary in April.  I know my Doctor there will listen to me. I am counting the days to actually be heard. Why is it that the brain injury clinic, endocrinology clinics and neurology clinics in Calgary take the time to really listen and find solutions. Why is there no out of the box thinking here in Med Hat? suggestions…the “let’s try this” type of approach. I mean really it does not take that much time to sit down and brain storm ideas. To verbally communicate, visually communicate with pictures from the computer. To take a risk and try something new.  


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4 Year Anniversary

On September 4, 2016 I celebrated my fourth anniversay of my brain surgery. I thought about writing that day but I couldn’t bring myself to write. 

There have been some amazing hurtles that I have overcome in the last four years. I have become a stronger, wiser person. My brain continues to heal as I push myself. Life have become liveable and enjoyable again now that we have found suitable meds. I have overcome on the other side of some very dark questionable times as well. I held out and did not quit or give up. I have enough awareness now to be blown away. I know in my head what I have accomplished, but so many people do not because having a disability that is not visible leads to many assumptions.

I still have my sketchy quirks to work on. I notice them now more than ever. For example, my sense of time is often out and I still have not found a good calendar program that has a great nag alarm for my android phone. I still think I can remember a lot more than what I can so I decide not to put items in my calendar and of course I forget. I often forget what I promise to do…mmmm three weeks of saying I will put the boys phones up for sale and I still haven’t done it. I remember, then start and get distracted and then forget until  I am reminded. I have a hard time with conversations still. I will get nervous and keep talking and talking and talking. I often forget the clues that the conversation is over. I still have a hard time with ending a conversation. I am not too sure if the person has ended the conversation or how to end without being rude or too abrupt.

My organizational skills of planning and connecting from a to b to c to d is still a work in progress. I am not walking in a circle in my room trying to figure out what I need to do first but I will go from basement to upstairs to get one specific thing and in that two sets of stairs, I will forget what that item was. I will look around and grab something, walk back down stairs  and start working on what I was doing again until I remember what I wanted from up stairs. The process then repeats itself numerous times  or days. So sometimes getting things done is painful.

I tend to hyper-focus on new things and block out everything…like kids, meals, laundry. I bought a cricut which has been taking up all my time. I am loving the fact that I am suing Adobe Illustrator, manipulating graphics and fonts to create items to sell. I am looking forward to developing my crafty hobbies into a small biz. I am even looking into furthering my education. I am looking at my art therapy post diploma rather than recreation therapy certificate. The post grad diploma is a step forward rather than backwards with a general certificate where they want you to take their technical communications course even though I could probably teach it. How to write an email, proposal letter, make a brochure, resume….yawn. No challenge there. The only problem is to pay for my course. I have no idea what is available out there for resources to help pay.

So many steps and mountains climbed. A few more to climb but it all seems achievable now. Here is to how great and adaptable humans are. How strong we can be and how we can continue to learn on a daily basis. I am truly grateful! I am truly grateful to have been faced with all of this. If I hadn’t been challenged, I would not have grown so much. I look forward to tomorrow, the next day and to see how fare more I will come in the future.