I saw my very good friend today and she said that I look tired but very good. I had to agree with her. I am looking but feeling exhausted. I am so dragging, headpressure and pain. Not enough to get me completely out of the game of life but enough that I know it is there. This feeling is like an annoying hangover which would be okay if I had earned it from the night before. Nope just get the feeling. Lucky me.
Last Monday, I had my neuropsych assessment. This is the second one I have had. The first was when I was inpatient rehab when in Unit 58. It started at 9am and went until 12:15ish. I was exausted and felt sick to my stomach after. It was an interesting series of tests. I had to laugh at the peg test and the grip test. Oh yeah…lacking coordination and strength on the right side…it was quite amusing as I was doing it. I like the block test where I had to do patterns. The attention and memory tests were sucky but I plodded through everything.
I then went to cafeteria to get lunch. It was so busy that I only sat there a few minutes and decided to go check in to sit in waiting room where it is usually quiet since I had an appt. with my Physiatrist for 1:30pm.
I check in; walk down the hallway where the waiting room nook was empty…score!!! I settled in and tried to eat my sandwich but I still felt sick to my stomach so I stopped. I was sitting there with eyes closed, relaxing in the relative quiet of a busy hospital when a person comes down and he is loud. He is another outpatient like myself. However, noise is not an issue for him but being loud, obnoxious were some highlight characters he exibited. Then he said he was there for his anger…while stating that the police are corrupt and he got his injury from police when trying to arrest him. OMG…I think that I am going to lose it and police might come arrest me becuase he will not shut up; I am tired; feeling like shit and trying to really be polite. I do this for forty minutes. Finally I get up to go to the washroom and a young intern doctor motions to me as I come out that the escape route is to the left. I explained that I need to wait and the look of pity was did not go unnoticed. Then he gets called out…peace & quiet again. I shut my eyes and sleep again.
When it is my turn to go in, we talk about how I am doing. I tell her that there is no way I think I can be a sucessful counsellor, I don’t think I could really listen to people all day. We check go over meds and then do the Botox. Chris was in room with me by then and it is his first time waching the process. I guess when it goes in, the skin all inflates and there is a big bubble. The needles never seem to go quick enough. I even yelled out once or twice. I even ended up with bruises on my scalp & forhead this time. So the remainder of last week and still this week has been a little uncomftable.
The Psych called today to give me a rundown on my results. He said that I had improved in all categories but memory went down. He said that if I want to go back to school or re-train, that would be best at visual and hands on. That is good news at least. Options. I don’t think a Masters is in my future anymore, but I have a couple other ideas in the fire right now.
The memory going down is a concern! I have been experiencing other potential hydro issues but have been ignoring them for the last couple months but today I ended up sending email to Dr. to see if we can get a head scan. If there is another issue and I need to get an ETV again, I would rather do it sooner than later. Below is a list of common symptoms when your hydrocephalus is acting up or things are not flowing right:
Older children and adults may experience different symptoms because their skulls cannot expand to accommodate the buildup of CSF. Symptoms may include headache followed by vomiting, nausea, blurred or double vision, sun setting of the eyes, problems with balance, poor coordination, gait disturbance, urinary incontinence, slowing or loss of developmental progress, lethargy, drowsiness, irritability, or other changes in personality or cognition including memory loss. taken from.Hydrocephalus Fact Sheet